Imagine waking up every day wondering if this will be the day... Will this be the day that we get matched with a baby? It is frustrating, and heart wrenching, and exciting. A few weeks ago we completed our home study, which is a requirement for any adoptive parents. A social worker comes in to your home and invades your personal life. They look at all of your financial information, all of your health history, social history, how you were raised as a child, how you want to raise your child... nothing is left uncovered. Then you have to wait for them to say if you are financially, mentally, and physically capable of adopting a child. It is a truly trying time, and the paperwork is just unbelievable. Thankfully that part is over, and I thought from the beginning that would be the most difficult thing we went through.
Boy was I wrong... the first day we had an approved home study that was received by our consultant, we got a phone call about a situation with a child. I had missed the phone call and listened to her voice mail she left. I frantically called back and got the scoop. We were in the middle of Sam's Club and I had the opportunity to tell Josh about our first situation! I was excited, overwhelmed, and scared. I broke down crying from all of the emotions that flooded over me. This couldn't be happening so fast... we didn't have anything ready. We had to get on the ball, figure things out. I was terrified and excited. I just really thought this was it. I calmed down and had Josh check out at Sam's while I went outside to call my mom about the baby we were told about. She told me we needed to pray. I then called my dad... he said the same thing... pray. Josh got to the car and I held his hand, and prayed. I prayed that God's will would be done in the situation and if that was the child for us, then the birth mom would choose us. Josh told me to put our yes on the table for us to be presented to the birth mom. Then we waited.. for 2 days for an answer. She didn't choose us. Why? Were we not good enough? Was my profile I made and the letter not what she wanted to hear? All of those kinds of questions filled my thoughts. I then remembered... this baby wasn't meant for us. God already picked our baby, and this one wasn't the one.
I then received a phone call the following Monday. Two more situations came up that met our criteria. We presented to the first birth mom on Tuesday, and again my hopes were high. I had a good feeling about what was going to happen. Then I got the phone call with the decision... it wasn't us. We weren't chosen yet again. This time there were no tears and no asking why, only the reminder that he wasn't the one God planned for us.
Today we present again to another birth mom, and we likely won't have an answer until the weekend. I do hope this is the one God has picked for us, but if not, we will continue to wait for "the one". The waiting is the hardest part, not the home study or the paper work, it is the waiting that really gets me. Patience is not my strong suit, and I pray every day that God will give me more patience.
Also I have been preparing the paper work for grants/loans for our adoption... and now we must wait to see what we are approved for. The money issue is such a huge leap of faith, and we are just believing at this point that God will help us find the funds we need to get through all of this.
Hopefully in my next post, we will be done waiting, and we will have our perfect match. :)
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Happy Happy Happy
After some disappointing news a few weeks ago, we finally have some good news, and I couldn't be more happy! :)
Let's start with the bad news first, and then end on a happy note! We hadn't heard anything from our adoption agency all summer, no updates... nothing. I was getting concerned and wanted to call and make sure everything was on track. I called and spoke with a lady... that was not our social worker. She informed me that our social worker was out on maternity leave, but that she could help me. I asked her if things were on track for them to get started working with us in November, as we were previously told. She said that they were on a hold at the agency to try and get placement for families that had been waiting for a long time. I was a little disappointed, but I understood their reasoning for that. She then told me it could be quite some time before we were actually accepted into their program. Again... I was disappointed, but I also know that things happen in God's time, not mine. About a week later, we received a call saying that it would actually be at least 2-3 YEARS before they could work with us because of my stroke last year. I had already discussed this with the agency before paying them any money or turning in our contract. Unfortunately, we were misinformed and due to policies in place at their agency, they would not be able to work with us at this time. We were able to get our money back... and we started again at square one. What a blow to our hearts. :(
About two months ago, I saw someone "like" a photo on Facebook. It was a picture that an adoption consulting firm had posted of a baby that was just placed with a family. I was intrigued, and began checking this place out. What an amazing group of people... I knew then and there that we had to learn more and work with them! With a little bit of investigation, I found out that someone I knew actually used this place for their adoption this year. We spoke on the phone and discussed their experience. I learned more about the consulting firm, about their faith, and about what they do for their clients. This was the place for us... these people have a prayer team, they provide as much information as possible about grants and loans, they care about their clients! Soon after learning about them, they posted on Facebook that they would be accepting only a few more families for this year, so we knew that we had to get our paperwork in! Last week we sent in our application, and our references sent in reference letters for us. Last night at 10:37 P.M. I got the email I had been waiting for! We were accepted into their program... HENCE my late night excited photo! This is beyond exciting to us, and we can't wait to dig in and get started! God is putting everything in place for us, and I have no doubt that He will fund what He favors!
Thanks for all the prayers, donations, and sweet comments thus far. We have had a difficult journey to where we are now, and we are so happy for the positive things that are beginning to happen for us.
Let's start with the bad news first, and then end on a happy note! We hadn't heard anything from our adoption agency all summer, no updates... nothing. I was getting concerned and wanted to call and make sure everything was on track. I called and spoke with a lady... that was not our social worker. She informed me that our social worker was out on maternity leave, but that she could help me. I asked her if things were on track for them to get started working with us in November, as we were previously told. She said that they were on a hold at the agency to try and get placement for families that had been waiting for a long time. I was a little disappointed, but I understood their reasoning for that. She then told me it could be quite some time before we were actually accepted into their program. Again... I was disappointed, but I also know that things happen in God's time, not mine. About a week later, we received a call saying that it would actually be at least 2-3 YEARS before they could work with us because of my stroke last year. I had already discussed this with the agency before paying them any money or turning in our contract. Unfortunately, we were misinformed and due to policies in place at their agency, they would not be able to work with us at this time. We were able to get our money back... and we started again at square one. What a blow to our hearts. :(
About two months ago, I saw someone "like" a photo on Facebook. It was a picture that an adoption consulting firm had posted of a baby that was just placed with a family. I was intrigued, and began checking this place out. What an amazing group of people... I knew then and there that we had to learn more and work with them! With a little bit of investigation, I found out that someone I knew actually used this place for their adoption this year. We spoke on the phone and discussed their experience. I learned more about the consulting firm, about their faith, and about what they do for their clients. This was the place for us... these people have a prayer team, they provide as much information as possible about grants and loans, they care about their clients! Soon after learning about them, they posted on Facebook that they would be accepting only a few more families for this year, so we knew that we had to get our paperwork in! Last week we sent in our application, and our references sent in reference letters for us. Last night at 10:37 P.M. I got the email I had been waiting for! We were accepted into their program... HENCE my late night excited photo! This is beyond exciting to us, and we can't wait to dig in and get started! God is putting everything in place for us, and I have no doubt that He will fund what He favors!
Thanks for all the prayers, donations, and sweet comments thus far. We have had a difficult journey to where we are now, and we are so happy for the positive things that are beginning to happen for us.
Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
- Philip Yancey
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
waiting and waiting and more waiting...
On May 20th, a couple of days after my last post, we had our first meeting with our social worker at the adoption agency we selected. I went in with an open mind and heart... and a long list of questions! I did my research and talked to other adoptive parents that have had successful adoptions and learned what things I needed to ask my social worker, in order to have a more productive meeting.
We turned in our application and gave the lady our money, and she explained how the rest of the process would go. I already knew that there would be a wait to get into their program, as they only work with a limited number of adoptive parents at a time in order to cut down on wait times to complete an adoption. When she began talking about our wait she initially told me it would be a year before we were accepted into their program. My heart sank... just a few weeks before she told me that it would be 6 months at the longest. After seeing the shock on my face, she remembered that she told me something different on the phone, and that we had spoken on the phone for the last month, so she moved us back up to our proper place in line. That sinking feeling went away and happy thoughts drifted back into my head.
We then talked about what we could do in the time in which we waited. She told me that I could begin to gather things for our book to show to the birth parents, and maybe start on a letter that would be included in that book.
Once our wait time is up, and we are accepted into the program officially, we will start our home study. A home study is where the social worker comes into your home to make sure that you have sufficient room for a child to live there, that you have certain safety features (such as smoke detectors), and do interviews with us to make sure we are fit to be parents. Also included with this you must have a physical and be signed off by a doctor. I had so many questions about this home study, as it seems so scary (especially the physical part...and all of my health problems). After speaking with our social worker and knowing exactly how it all works and that she would be the one doing it I felt much more comfortable.
After the home study is approved, we would just be waiting on birth parents to choose us. I began thinking about the things that I could put in the book, and how I could make a connection with the birth mother/parents on paper. What would make them want to pick us? That question is still going through my mind, and I pray that when the time comes to work on our book, that God gives me just the right pictures to put in there, and the right words to say.
Thanks to all of our friends and family for the generous donations to our adoption fund! We currently have raised $2544.80 for our adoption. We still need so much more, but we are off to a great start. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for our future child, and pray for us to have patience while waiting for this baby!
We turned in our application and gave the lady our money, and she explained how the rest of the process would go. I already knew that there would be a wait to get into their program, as they only work with a limited number of adoptive parents at a time in order to cut down on wait times to complete an adoption. When she began talking about our wait she initially told me it would be a year before we were accepted into their program. My heart sank... just a few weeks before she told me that it would be 6 months at the longest. After seeing the shock on my face, she remembered that she told me something different on the phone, and that we had spoken on the phone for the last month, so she moved us back up to our proper place in line. That sinking feeling went away and happy thoughts drifted back into my head.
We then talked about what we could do in the time in which we waited. She told me that I could begin to gather things for our book to show to the birth parents, and maybe start on a letter that would be included in that book.
Once our wait time is up, and we are accepted into the program officially, we will start our home study. A home study is where the social worker comes into your home to make sure that you have sufficient room for a child to live there, that you have certain safety features (such as smoke detectors), and do interviews with us to make sure we are fit to be parents. Also included with this you must have a physical and be signed off by a doctor. I had so many questions about this home study, as it seems so scary (especially the physical part...and all of my health problems). After speaking with our social worker and knowing exactly how it all works and that she would be the one doing it I felt much more comfortable.
After the home study is approved, we would just be waiting on birth parents to choose us. I began thinking about the things that I could put in the book, and how I could make a connection with the birth mother/parents on paper. What would make them want to pick us? That question is still going through my mind, and I pray that when the time comes to work on our book, that God gives me just the right pictures to put in there, and the right words to say.
Thanks to all of our friends and family for the generous donations to our adoption fund! We currently have raised $2544.80 for our adoption. We still need so much more, but we are off to a great start. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for our future child, and pray for us to have patience while waiting for this baby!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Blessed
Since my last post, we have chosen our agency. Our adoption application is filled out, numerous phone calls to the agency have been made, and we are on the right track for this adoption to take place. We have started a separate account at the bank for the adoption, and friends and family have been giving generously. We have enough to pay our application fee when we go on Monday, and we are well on our way to having enough money to pay for our home study fee. A month ago we were wondering where we were going to get this money from, and I kept being assured by God that He would provide. It happened... He provided. He continues to lay it on people's hearts to help us out. I feel so blessed to be seeing this unfold right before our eyes.
People keep asking us "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Josh and I always instantly spit out the same answer... "No preference, we just want a baby!" We can't wait to meet and love on the precious child that God has chosen for us. I am so happy to be able to share our story with others. Maybe through our love and devotion to the Lord, we can lead someone else to salvation. That is my only hope, that others can see what will happen for you if you answer God's calling.
Please continue to keep us in your prayers throughout this journey. Pray that we know the right decisions to make, and that everything goes smoothly from beginning to end. We have never been so excited to see what the Lord has in store for us, and I can't wait to share with my child one day how everyone helped us out and prayed for a child they had never met.
God bless you all, and keep watching for more updates in the months to come!
People keep asking us "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Josh and I always instantly spit out the same answer... "No preference, we just want a baby!" We can't wait to meet and love on the precious child that God has chosen for us. I am so happy to be able to share our story with others. Maybe through our love and devotion to the Lord, we can lead someone else to salvation. That is my only hope, that others can see what will happen for you if you answer God's calling.
Please continue to keep us in your prayers throughout this journey. Pray that we know the right decisions to make, and that everything goes smoothly from beginning to end. We have never been so excited to see what the Lord has in store for us, and I can't wait to share with my child one day how everyone helped us out and prayed for a child they had never met.
God bless you all, and keep watching for more updates in the months to come!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
What led us here?
My head is currently spinning. I have spent the last few weeks searching for the perfect adoption agency for us. I have it narrowed down to 2 agencies... both Christian, and both sound great. How do I choose? Where does God need us?
I guess I need to back up. My husband, Josh, and I have decided to adopt. There are several motivations behind why we have chosen this path. I will start from the beginning...
My name is Emily, and I got pregnant during my first year of college. I was 18 years old, and I was terrified of what the future had in store for me. The father of the baby wanted me to abort...but I didn't agree with abortion. I then thought about setting up an adoption plan and making a responsible mature decision. After telling my parents I was pregnant... at 3 month along, I wanted to talk to them about putting my child up for adoption. Those thoughts were short lived after I had my second ultrasound. I got my life going on the right track, working at a law firm, and living with my parents. They agreed to help me financially, and any other way they could.
My step mother and I went and bought furniture and clothes, and countless other baby items. We had recently moved to a new house where there were already murals on the wall for a nursery... that was the room I was in. My son Landon and I would share the room, the crib was right next to my bed. I was going to be a mom, and I was finally starting to get excited.
God had other plans for me. God needed Landon in heaven, and at 26 weeks I gave birth to a tiny little guy that was just a little too small to make it. I almost died in this process...here is a link to a blog post about exactly what happened. It has been almost 7 years, and my arms yearn to hold my sweet little boy, but I know that God had a plan for me in all of that. I knew that one day, even if I had more children of my own, I wanted to adopt one as well.
Fast forward 6 years to the summer of 2012. My husband for 4 years and I have been trying to conceive for 4 years. I have PCOS and that makes things very difficult, but I knew that I could conceive because I had done it before. Josh decided that it was time for him to go to the doctor. That summer we got some pretty bad news about some infertility issues with him. Blow to my heart... I mean literally made me sick for weeks. He had several more tests done, but nothing that looked promising came of it. The doctors said that everything was working right, and that we could still possibly get pregnant, just might have some trouble.
Along comes November, and I wake up one morning unable to move the left side of my body. My symptoms get better through out the day, and I go on with my life. The next morning I wake up and it is worse... I am rushed to the ER, and hours later I find out I have had a stroke. A link to my stroke post is here. Even after all of this... doctors at the hospital still seem to think that having a child is a possibility for me, but that I need to see a high risk doctor.
I made a preconception appointment with a high risk maternal and fetal medicine doctor, and I was so excited to talk to her about getting pregnant. During my consultation with her I find out horrible news. I am at risk for another stroke, blood clots (due to my clotting disorder), preeclampsia (again), death, etc. She advises me to not get pregnant, and talk about the risks with my husband. When I get to the car I call Josh sobbing... he tried to calm me down and reminded me that I can still be a mom to a wonderful child, since we wanted to adopt anyway. I was much too angry at God at that time to realize that Josh was really trying to console me the best way he knew how. I lashed out at him and hung up the phone.
After a few weeks Josh revisited the adoption idea with me. He wants nothing more than to be a dad. He told me that when I was ready to talk about adoption that he would be on board. After I had plenty of time to deal with the predicament we were in, and after much prayer, God made things so clear to me. God wanted us to adopt... I had the stroke so that I could find out about my blood disorder and know not to get pregnant... Josh had some fertility issues and that worked in with God's plan. I truly think it was in God's perfect plan for us, to lead us to adoption sooner than later.
Fast forward to NOW. We know what God wants of us, and we know that He will provide for us during this emotionally and financially draining process. We are ready to do what it takes to answer His call. I just know that there is a baby out there for us... and that baby will be the perfect match, because God had a hand in choosing that baby just for us. We can't wait to love this child and raise it in a Christian home. I know that our parents could not be more excited for us and can't wait to become grand parents.
God has a plan for you... do you know what that plan is? Sometimes it takes years for that plan to fall in place, but He will make it clear to you if you are willing to follow Him.
Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."
Want to help? Besides praying for us during this journey, you can also help by donating at http://www.gofundme.com/2vsl1c or by purchasing a t-shirt through our online fundraiser at http://chromebuffalo.com/a/cb?drive=240. This t-shirt fundraiser will be going until May 20, 2013, so don't miss out on the chance to buy an awesome t-shirt to help us out!
I guess I need to back up. My husband, Josh, and I have decided to adopt. There are several motivations behind why we have chosen this path. I will start from the beginning...
My name is Emily, and I got pregnant during my first year of college. I was 18 years old, and I was terrified of what the future had in store for me. The father of the baby wanted me to abort...but I didn't agree with abortion. I then thought about setting up an adoption plan and making a responsible mature decision. After telling my parents I was pregnant... at 3 month along, I wanted to talk to them about putting my child up for adoption. Those thoughts were short lived after I had my second ultrasound. I got my life going on the right track, working at a law firm, and living with my parents. They agreed to help me financially, and any other way they could.
My step mother and I went and bought furniture and clothes, and countless other baby items. We had recently moved to a new house where there were already murals on the wall for a nursery... that was the room I was in. My son Landon and I would share the room, the crib was right next to my bed. I was going to be a mom, and I was finally starting to get excited.
God had other plans for me. God needed Landon in heaven, and at 26 weeks I gave birth to a tiny little guy that was just a little too small to make it. I almost died in this process...here is a link to a blog post about exactly what happened. It has been almost 7 years, and my arms yearn to hold my sweet little boy, but I know that God had a plan for me in all of that. I knew that one day, even if I had more children of my own, I wanted to adopt one as well.
Fast forward 6 years to the summer of 2012. My husband for 4 years and I have been trying to conceive for 4 years. I have PCOS and that makes things very difficult, but I knew that I could conceive because I had done it before. Josh decided that it was time for him to go to the doctor. That summer we got some pretty bad news about some infertility issues with him. Blow to my heart... I mean literally made me sick for weeks. He had several more tests done, but nothing that looked promising came of it. The doctors said that everything was working right, and that we could still possibly get pregnant, just might have some trouble.
Along comes November, and I wake up one morning unable to move the left side of my body. My symptoms get better through out the day, and I go on with my life. The next morning I wake up and it is worse... I am rushed to the ER, and hours later I find out I have had a stroke. A link to my stroke post is here. Even after all of this... doctors at the hospital still seem to think that having a child is a possibility for me, but that I need to see a high risk doctor.
I made a preconception appointment with a high risk maternal and fetal medicine doctor, and I was so excited to talk to her about getting pregnant. During my consultation with her I find out horrible news. I am at risk for another stroke, blood clots (due to my clotting disorder), preeclampsia (again), death, etc. She advises me to not get pregnant, and talk about the risks with my husband. When I get to the car I call Josh sobbing... he tried to calm me down and reminded me that I can still be a mom to a wonderful child, since we wanted to adopt anyway. I was much too angry at God at that time to realize that Josh was really trying to console me the best way he knew how. I lashed out at him and hung up the phone.
After a few weeks Josh revisited the adoption idea with me. He wants nothing more than to be a dad. He told me that when I was ready to talk about adoption that he would be on board. After I had plenty of time to deal with the predicament we were in, and after much prayer, God made things so clear to me. God wanted us to adopt... I had the stroke so that I could find out about my blood disorder and know not to get pregnant... Josh had some fertility issues and that worked in with God's plan. I truly think it was in God's perfect plan for us, to lead us to adoption sooner than later.
Fast forward to NOW. We know what God wants of us, and we know that He will provide for us during this emotionally and financially draining process. We are ready to do what it takes to answer His call. I just know that there is a baby out there for us... and that baby will be the perfect match, because God had a hand in choosing that baby just for us. We can't wait to love this child and raise it in a Christian home. I know that our parents could not be more excited for us and can't wait to become grand parents.
God has a plan for you... do you know what that plan is? Sometimes it takes years for that plan to fall in place, but He will make it clear to you if you are willing to follow Him.
Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."
Want to help? Besides praying for us during this journey, you can also help by donating at http://www.gofundme.com/2vsl1c or by purchasing a t-shirt through our online fundraiser at http://chromebuffalo.com/a/cb?drive=240. This t-shirt fundraiser will be going until May 20, 2013, so don't miss out on the chance to buy an awesome t-shirt to help us out!
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